ATM instructions for men and women
- ATM Procedures - Men vs Women
- MALE PROCEDURE:
- Drive up to the cash machine.
- Put down your car window.
- Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
- Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
- Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
- Put window up.
- Drive off.
- FEMALE PROCEDURE:
- Drive up to cash machine.
- Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
- Set parking brake, put the window down.
- Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
- Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up
- Attempt to insert card into machine.
- Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
- Insert card.
- Re-insert card the right way.
- Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
- Enter PIN.
- Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
- Enter amount of cash required.
- Check makeup in rear view mirror.
- Retrieve cash and receipt.
- Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
- Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.
- Re-check makeup.
- Drive forward 2 feet.
- Reverse back to cash machine.
- Retrieve card.
- Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.
- Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
- Restart stalled engine and pull off.
- Redial person on cell phone.
- Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
- Release Parking Brake.
- January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.
- February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels....."duh".....bottles won't fit in typewriter!!!
- March - Got excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months.....box said "2-4 years!"
- April - Trapped on escalator for hours.....power went out!!!
- May - Tried to make Kool-Aid.....8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!!
- June - Tried to go water skiing.....couldn't find a lake with a slope.
- July - Lost breast stroke swimming competition.....learned later, other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!
- August - Got locked out of car in rain storm.....car swamped, because top was down.
- September - The capital of California is "C".....isn't it???
- October - Hate M & M's.....they are so hard to peel.
- November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days.....instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!!!
- December - Couldn't call 911....."duh".....there's no "eleven" button on the phone!!!
- What a year!!